Everybody Gets a Corvette: My Recession Solution

To help out the American car manufacturers, who are apparently too huge to let fail, and to help out all the actual, real physical people who are living through this recession, I propose that the US government purchase a Chevrolet Corvette for every citizen in the country.

We could establish a Department of Vette Affairs to handle the distribution of the vehicles, and handle any substitutions that citizens may want. Instead of a Corvette, taxpayers should be able to choose any domestically-built vehicle from any of the Big 3 automakers. For instance, if you’re an idiot you could pick a Chrysler Sebring.

The money’s going to the automakers anyway, with no apparent benefit to taxpayers. With my Everybody Gets a Corvette plan, we ensure that the money is actually being spent throughout the supply chain the way it’s supposed to be. AND the American taxpayer gets a direct, tangible benefit!

Write to your congressperson. Better yet, buy yourself a senate seat and propose/support this legislation.

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