The Super Alliance of Randomly-Generated Awesomeness!

After getting burnt-out on World of Warcraft a few months ago, I eventually stumbled into Champions  Online by way of an ad or an article somewhere.  A lot of folks bash Free-to-Play games for lacking the polish of subscription-based games, and most of the F2P games I’ve played are really cheesy with the way they try to make the game a pain in the ass unless you buy a mount or some better gear.  But I gotta say that Champions is a really fun experience, even if you’re being a cheapskate.

I have to confess that out of about twenty characters and many, many hours of play, I haven’t managed to get a single toon past level 14.  It turns out that my favorite activity in the game is actually just creating characters.  You have so much control, and there are so many options!  I can literally spend hours hitting the “Randomize All” button in the character creation screen, giggling like crazy at the ridiculous costumes that it makes.  So, I’d like to present a few of these randomly-generated toons.  Let’s see how many times we can use the word “justice” in their descriptions.

Pink Champion

Super Power: Fabulousness


On the day before her high school graduation, Accessoria was the sole survivor of a freak explosion in a Claire’s Boutique. Since then, she has used her amazing (but inexpensive) accessories to fight for justice.


Exiled to the frozen wastes more than four thousand years ago for mimery, ArticMimenkhamen silently fights for justice in a world that tries to make him talk. I would totally play this toon, and never say anything in chat. I would just use emotes. RP for the win.

Balance Buzzard

Locked in a constant struggle between his yearning for justice and his insatiable hunger for carrion, Balance Buzzard travels the land helping those in need.


This is a toon I actually play from time to time. The frost/soviet theme actually came up randomly and I thought it was pretty…cool. I tweaked his costume quite a bit then typed up this backstory:

“A product of a super-secret project during the last years of the Cold War, cybernetic and genetic enhancements have given Alexei Chernov the ability to slow subatomic particles to a near dead stop. His first assignment was to help freeze and contain the nuclear reactor at Chernobyl. After the collapse of the Soviet Union this devout communist dedicated his life to fighting evil, demonstrating the might and goodwill of his by-gone creators.”

Syberian’s Black Costume

For when he’s emo.

J.U.M.P., The CyberShark

When times are desperate and ratings are at an all-time low, he goes too far…for Justice!

Kinky Demon

You would. You totally would. After a few beers…end of the night…maybe use a fake name and a burlap sack or two.

Pirate Bootie

Here’s another candidate for the Double-Bag Club. I’m sure she’s a very nice person. That bootie is rockin’.

The Bellhop

I kept this guy. The random parts were the color scheme, the jacket, and the ape head. The rest was meticulously crafted by moi. I’d love to see a comic book with this dude in it, perhaps as a villain.


This one is totally random. I’d play this toon if I were into the neko thing, I guess.

Flyin’ FrostWolf

This is another totally random toon that is actually pretty cool. A little tweaking and this would be a good character.

The Amalgamn

He’s a hero trying to find out who he is. Where do you fit in when you’re just a pile of random crap tossed together and painted yellow? And yes, I put that “n” on the end of his name on purpose. I thought it was rad.


He has a pound symbol on his chest and he looks like he would pound people into the ground. Might make a decent villain or a dark, snarky hero a’la Hellboy.

The Playmate

Um…moving on….


Nope, this one wasn’t random. I spent a considerable amount of time on homegirl here. She bad.


One response to this post.

  1. Posted by Aiden Chester on March 27, 2011 at 9:56 pm


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