Posts Tagged ‘war’

Time-Limited Small Arms for Revolutions

The “civil” war in Libya has me thinking about what’s going to happen to all those weapons that have been provided to the rebels by NATO.  Here’s an advertisement from the near future…

We’ve all been there:  You smuggle a few thousand guns to rebel fighters in a country where you’d like to topple a dictator.  Next thing you know, the dictator’s gone but now you have all those guns floating around.  Most of them end up in the hands of insurgents (who were your buddies a couple of weeks ago but are now definitely anti-you), and some of them make their way to the black market and end up getting used against your drug enforcement agents and/or the drug cartels that are propping up your government.

Not anymore!  With our exclusive line of DisposArms™ time-limited weaponry, not only do you minimize the risk of your own weapons being used against you but you can also prevent flooding the lucrative secondary arms markets with spare weapons.

Design and Features

  • Critical components of the weapons are built to fail due to corrosion or use after a predetermined time period or a given number of rounds have been fired.  Special composite materials cause the components to fuse together upon failure, rendering the weapon inoperable.  The components fuse in such a way as to make re-manufacturing/cannibalization of the weapon highly impractical.
  • Non-critical components, such as grips, stocks and other furniture, are made from biodegradable plastics with a predetermined lifespan.
  • The usable lifespan of the weapons can be custom-tailored to your specific revolutionary or counter-revolutionary timetable.
  • Failsafe explosive devices can be implanted in the weapons and remotely detonated should the need arise.  The size, composition and lethality of the explosive can be customized according to your needs.
  • GPS tracking devices are also available to ensure that your guns stay on-task and in-country.
  • We also offer an extra-special feature that ties the self-destruct system into the GPS locator.  If a weapon leaves a boundary area that you have defined, the weapon automatically detonates.  You can even modify the boundary from our convenient phone app!
  • DisposArms™ can be crafted to use a variety of locally-available calibers or you can choose from our line of proprietary, time-sensitive ammunition for even better control of your arsenal.
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Weapons of Great Depression: We are down, and we’re about to be kicked.

So we’re giving a $700 billion check to somebody to try and get out of this economic crisis.  I don’t know where that money is going, and frankly the complexity of the situation overloads my brain and forces me info my default state, which is apathy.  What I am concerned about is that we (meaning the United States or Western Civilization in general) are down and we’re ripe for a good kicking.

Al Qaeda (which is not so much an organization as a mindset, kind of like “Flintstones Kids” – 10 million strong and growing, by the way) is probably looking at us and going nuts trying to figure out the best ways to take advantage of our misfortune collective stupidity.

I can tell you a couple of targets that are definitely not on the short list of terrorists-in-the-know: the New York Stock Exchange and any public building in Washington, DC.  Whereas back in the day you had the Red Brigade targeting politicians and people in high finance, your modern asymmetrical warfighter understands that the best way to defeat us is to let bankers and our government give us the slow, gentle, yet unlubricated butt-screwing they think we deserve.  All they had to do was set the tone, and our fear was enough to give too much power to idiot politicians and completely lose faith in our system of fake money.

$700 billion is about the size of a decent modern war budget.  So I’m thinking that right now we’re fighting a war on three fronts – Iraq, Afghanistan/Pakistan, and now we’re fighting to save companies that specialize in promising to give people money that they don’t have if something bad happens.  Which brings up an interesting point:  Who acts as the insurance companies’ safety net if something bad (as in, “people no longer believe your bullshit.”) happens to them?  Oh, that’s right – the US government – you and me, the American Taxpayer.  So they insure us, and in a Turkish bath-worthy reacharound kinda way, we insure them.  As if we weren’t racking up enough debt, I hear Mr. Ponzi would like royalties for the use of his scheme.

What I’d like to know is what slice of these companies we’re bailing out is foreign-owned, and can we get some of that money back?  Can we invade those countries who don’t put up their shares of the bailout?  Will we need to borrow money from them in order to invade them?